As Promised...

I am more than a statistic

I am officially an ACD (adult child of divorce). It's very surreal. I found out on Wednesday morning. As I was walking out the door, my mom got a phone call from her attorney and I heard her say, "It was signed?" with all sorts of shock & surprise in her voice. It made for an interesting day. That night and the next morning I heard more stuff that just totally set me off making Thursday one of the craziest days of my life in terms of how I felt. It was like an out of body experience--I really think my spirit decided to take the day off. Near the end of the work day, I think I finally came out of it and shed a few tears. After work I just wanted to crawl in my bed and cry, so that's exactly what I did...for about 10 minutes and then I grabbed Bethany and we went for a drive up the canyon with the top down and the stero blasting. We sang at the top of our lungs and shouted angry words, letting the wind carry the hurt far, far away. Thank heavens for sisters and convertibles.

When we got back, I put on my running shoes and took off with my ipod. Dusk is one of my favorite times of the day--the witching hour when the mountains turn pinkish. It was very therapuetic. As I was on the home stretch, the sky looked something like this...

Yes, even this cloud has a shiny, bright, silver lining. I finished my workout in the yoga room (big smile). Again, accompanied by music--ps, the yoga room has amazing acoustics--I think everyone needs their own yoga room. The privacy of it all is great and I let my body dictate what I needed to do. I did an awesome arm work out with the 5# and danced it all out. I switched playlists and did a little yoga, moving into "tree," I visualized my roots growing deep into the only safe and secure foundation--the Savior. As I finished up and transitioned into Savasana (corpse pose--something I love about yoga is the final pose, laying on the mat with arms slightly extended from the body, palms facing up, total relaxation!) I told my ipod to "give me a good one". Bach's Cello Suite 1: Prelude was what I got. I absolutely LOVE this piece. If you ever need to feel grounded or just need a little inspiration, turn this song on and turn off all other distractions and just breathe! I laid on the floor in Savasana with the lights off and it was like little fireflies playing arpeggios on the strings of my soul.

They didn't teach us this stuff in grad school. I may have shouted a couple sentences, but there was no talking involved in this therapy session and I am convinced that it was the best possible treatment I could've received! I felt like a new person--my spirit was very much back in my body and happy to be there. I feel so much gratitude right now for crappy situations for which without I would not be forced to discover amazing rememdies.

(It didn't hurt one bit that right after I turned the lights back on, my phone sang a little Jason Mraz to me indicating a very long distance phone call that made my night. Great timing on that one!)

I wish all weekends...

...were 3-day weekends. I feel so productive and I still have half of my weekend left.

Thanks to my new-found motivator, I am finally making some necessary changes. I'm calling it my "partial person make-over"--since this is really covering just two, albeit big, areas. I'll probably blog about the first some time in the future, because the second is a lot more fun to talk about.

In an attempt to spur myself into changing area 1 (financial responsibility), I canceled my too-rarely used gym membership. I don't even want to think about how much money I donated to 24 hr fitness due to this mental block. I have been searching for the motivation to start exercising again (after long hours as a working grad student left me too tired). Now I really have no excuse. It's almost been a year since graduation, and though I've gone on some mini-fitness kicks, nothing has stuck around longer than a couple days. I've been tempted to try a different gym, but I decided today that this is one area that I can save some $$ and still do what I need to do.

For a while now, I have dreamed of having a yoga/meditation room. When the upstairs den was vacated this dream started to become a reality. This morning I spent some time putting some vital elements in place (after I went for a long--for me--walk/jog/run in the rain--it was a perfect way to start my Saturday).

Let me introduce you to one of my new best friends...my yoga room.
The vital elements:


and some much needed inspiration:


I have some big goals for myself to accomplish by the end of the year, now I have a place to work on a few of them, without undermining others.

amen and amen.

Okay, so I am a photo thief. That's just what I do. But when the photo looks like this and captures such an iconic image of my family, I just can't resist. Keep in mind that orange bundle is a 3-year-old in a bright yellow life jacket burying her face in my stomach. Either she was cold or scared or both, but she wanted to 'cuddle' I wasn't about to tell her no.

photo take by liz.
emily told the story well here.

Garden Party

I love my girlies... all of you! There is nothing quite like dressing up and hanging out with a group of amazing and beautiful ladies. (don't be jealous, dudes. you just weren't invited this time.)


ps, I picked this number up at the J.Crew sample sale...what would you say if I told you it's a wedding dress? I wish you could see the detailing on it. Have you seen their wedding line? It's fantastic!