Wanna get my art on

Today the execs are away on a "retreat" (funny how a plan can go from turks and caicos to the eastern shore to down the street at the four seasons...I just have to tell myself, it's not my company!) and it's given me some quiet time. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's better to just be so busy I can't think. Maybe sometimes I'd rather be running to get a coffee with half-and-half and a packet of sweet 'n low for the Ikester (aka: mini boss).

Left with my thoughts and a chance to blog surf, I can't help but feel a few green (as in covetous), murky waves of regret.

1. I regret that I didn't learn earlier how to be smarter with money and live on a budget.
2. I regret not sacrificing 'lifestyle' for 'life savings'.
3. I regret the shackles of debt I am now paying off.
4. I regret having to choose employment based on salary instead of job description.
5. I regret not going to design school when I had the chance.
6. I regret having to sit here in a stuffy office and read about other people living their artsy dreams.
7. I regret keeping the Sony point and shoot I got as a gift several years ago (that I never use, hence all the crappy cell phone pics) instead of trading it in for a Canon like I had secretly wanted to and now I regret not being able to afford a new camera because I'm now making sacrifices (see #2) and am on the super-skinny-get-out-of-debt plan (see #3).

Before I bring myself to sorrowful tears of self-pity I need to note some things that I am grateful for.

1. I belong to a Church that promotes self-reliance and debt-free living.
2. I can learn to master the self and delay gratification.
3. The feeling I get every time I add another big payment on my spreadsheet to financial freedom and see my balance chipping away.
4. That my work is footing the bill for my InDesign class and that I know more than every other person in the class and even some things the instructor doesn't know.
5. The opportunity to get out of debt before I bring children into the world and really won't want to have to work.
6. Days with downtime and a chance to catch up on loved ones' lives.
7. A job. A job that pays well.

So yes, while I desperately wish I could roll out of bed, walk two steps and be in my office where I do crafty stuff all day, I know I am learing some really important lessons with eternal significance. a penny spent is really two pennies earned. patience is a virtue. and a whole lotta other stuff.

piggy illustration by: me :)


... said...

You are so talented Charity!!! You'll be such a crafty, hip, stay at home momma. :)

I regret that I wasn't more focused on saving money and getting out of debt until I got married... now I'm obsessed and we're so close! But I'm still working and #2 is on the way. Don't do it that way. It's hard. I just want to be with my little boy all day long. Luckily, I work from my home and my sister is our nanny so I can stop working and play at any point during the day.

I'm excited for you! So much to look forward to! :)

Nicole Howell said...

This post really drew my attention today as I weigh the consequences of piling on more student loan debt in order to pursue a career in graphic design/textiles versus staying in a profession I don't love because it is safe. I am also obsessed with saving and want to make it all work. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in this and there are lots of us in our late 20's/early 30's weighing through this issue.