I have been longing to write, but haven't had much free time lately that hasn't been filled with other things. Tonight I came home a little early so I could spend a bit of time on the lesson for Sunday School tomorrow. I got a message Wednesday night asking if I would teach (the person who was scheduled to teach broke his ankle and had to have surgery, poor guy!), of course I accepted. It's hard for me to turn those requests down.

I just finished reading through the material and the last couple verses really stood out to me:

"You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves."

I love this verse--there is so much truth in the simple metaphor. It doesn't take much, just a good steering device to keep a boat from capsizing, but you have to know how to use the waves and the wind for your benefit to keep you above the surface. For any of you who have ever driven a boat on stormy waters, you know what I'm talking about. If you fight the storm, you are toast. If you use the storm, you will make it back to safety. I don't know why I love this so much, maybe because it's just ringing true for me. When we find ourselves in the midst of adversity, if we don't resist it, but use it...in the words of Elder Wirthlin, learn to say "come what may...and love it" then we can ride the wave of that adversity or trial to the safety of the shore.

"Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

I love feeling the power of the water underneath my boat, not harnessing it--for it cannot be controlled--but definitely using it and letting it carry me to where I need to go. If you give up, let go of the wheel and allow the rudder to go wild in the waves, you're sunk. But if you use the tools: the throttle, the steering system, the momentum and direction of the waves, the ride can and will be exhilarating.

Being a "boater" I guess this metaphor just really hits home for me. It makes sense. Adversity is not a option. If we want to get where we're going, then it is required that we face trials and tribulation. If we fight against it and resist it we will only end up frustrated and miserable. But, if we flow with it and use it for our benefit, cheerfully doing all in our power to ride it out and stay upright, then we will be able to stand still in the assurance of our salvation.

Doctrine & Covenants 123:16-17

I am more than a statistic

I am officially an ACD (adult child of divorce). It's very surreal. I found out on Wednesday morning. As I was walking out the door, my mom got a phone call from her attorney and I heard her say, "It was signed?" with all sorts of shock & surprise in her voice. It made for an interesting day. That night and the next morning I heard more stuff that just totally set me off making Thursday one of the craziest days of my life in terms of how I felt. It was like an out of body experience--I really think my spirit decided to take the day off. Near the end of the work day, I think I finally came out of it and shed a few tears. After work I just wanted to crawl in my bed and cry, so that's exactly what I did...for about 10 minutes and then I grabbed Bethany and we went for a drive up the canyon with the top down and the stero blasting. We sang at the top of our lungs and shouted angry words, letting the wind carry the hurt far, far away. Thank heavens for sisters and convertibles.

When we got back, I put on my running shoes and took off with my ipod. Dusk is one of my favorite times of the day--the witching hour when the mountains turn pinkish. It was very therapuetic. As I was on the home stretch, the sky looked something like this...

Yes, even this cloud has a shiny, bright, silver lining. I finished my workout in the yoga room (big smile). Again, accompanied by music--ps, the yoga room has amazing acoustics--I think everyone needs their own yoga room. The privacy of it all is great and I let my body dictate what I needed to do. I did an awesome arm work out with the 5# and danced it all out. I switched playlists and did a little yoga, moving into "tree," I visualized my roots growing deep into the only safe and secure foundation--the Savior. As I finished up and transitioned into Savasana (corpse pose--something I love about yoga is the final pose, laying on the mat with arms slightly extended from the body, palms facing up, total relaxation!) I told my ipod to "give me a good one". Bach's Cello Suite 1: Prelude was what I got. I absolutely LOVE this piece. If you ever need to feel grounded or just need a little inspiration, turn this song on and turn off all other distractions and just breathe! I laid on the floor in Savasana with the lights off and it was like little fireflies playing arpeggios on the strings of my soul.

They didn't teach us this stuff in grad school. I may have shouted a couple sentences, but there was no talking involved in this therapy session and I am convinced that it was the best possible treatment I could've received! I felt like a new person--my spirit was very much back in my body and happy to be there. I feel so much gratitude right now for crappy situations for which without I would not be forced to discover amazing rememdies.

(It didn't hurt one bit that right after I turned the lights back on, my phone sang a little Jason Mraz to me indicating a very long distance phone call that made my night. Great timing on that one!)