I am more than a statistic

I am officially an ACD (adult child of divorce). It's very surreal. I found out on Wednesday morning. As I was walking out the door, my mom got a phone call from her attorney and I heard her say, "It was signed?" with all sorts of shock & surprise in her voice. It made for an interesting day. That night and the next morning I heard more stuff that just totally set me off making Thursday one of the craziest days of my life in terms of how I felt. It was like an out of body experience--I really think my spirit decided to take the day off. Near the end of the work day, I think I finally came out of it and shed a few tears. After work I just wanted to crawl in my bed and cry, so that's exactly what I did...for about 10 minutes and then I grabbed Bethany and we went for a drive up the canyon with the top down and the stero blasting. We sang at the top of our lungs and shouted angry words, letting the wind carry the hurt far, far away. Thank heavens for sisters and convertibles.

When we got back, I put on my running shoes and took off with my ipod. Dusk is one of my favorite times of the day--the witching hour when the mountains turn pinkish. It was very therapuetic. As I was on the home stretch, the sky looked something like this...

Yes, even this cloud has a shiny, bright, silver lining. I finished my workout in the yoga room (big smile). Again, accompanied by music--ps, the yoga room has amazing acoustics--I think everyone needs their own yoga room. The privacy of it all is great and I let my body dictate what I needed to do. I did an awesome arm work out with the 5# and danced it all out. I switched playlists and did a little yoga, moving into "tree," I visualized my roots growing deep into the only safe and secure foundation--the Savior. As I finished up and transitioned into Savasana (corpse pose--something I love about yoga is the final pose, laying on the mat with arms slightly extended from the body, palms facing up, total relaxation!) I told my ipod to "give me a good one". Bach's Cello Suite 1: Prelude was what I got. I absolutely LOVE this piece. If you ever need to feel grounded or just need a little inspiration, turn this song on and turn off all other distractions and just breathe! I laid on the floor in Savasana with the lights off and it was like little fireflies playing arpeggios on the strings of my soul.

They didn't teach us this stuff in grad school. I may have shouted a couple sentences, but there was no talking involved in this therapy session and I am convinced that it was the best possible treatment I could've received! I felt like a new person--my spirit was very much back in my body and happy to be there. I feel so much gratitude right now for crappy situations for which without I would not be forced to discover amazing rememdies.

(It didn't hurt one bit that right after I turned the lights back on, my phone sang a little Jason Mraz to me indicating a very long distance phone call that made my night. Great timing on that one!)

4 comments:

elizabeth said...

tears
sadness
but lots of love for you... our family... and most importantly grateful for our Savior
thanks for this post.

The Hokanson Family said...

I love you, Charity. I'm sorry. And remember I'm with ya on this one.

katie said...

Love ya too Charity. I am so sad top hear about your parents. You and your fam will be in my prayers

Shapiro said...

Charity,
I haven't checked your blog for a while. I'm sorry to hear about your parents. That is heartbreaking and a shock.
I'm inspired by the quotes and thoughts on your blog. I'm ready to print that one you have up there by Pres. Benson on food... so true. Thanks for sharing and keep that strength up. You are amazing.