Cry Baby

If you know me well, then you know that I'm a bit "tender hearted" (aka: prone to the occasional weep-fest). Well, something about being engaged has magnified this trait--it's a little ridiculous.

...In the kitchen at work while I was taking a quick break to eat a plum, that Subaru commercial came on--you know the one where the dude can't find his sunglasses so they have to retrace their "steps" through the desert and he finally finds them in the hood of his sweatshirt after the bats fly out of the cave and his lady friend just shakes her head and gives him a silly little grin and then the word "love" comes up on the screen followed by the Subaru logo and you aren't sure if they are talking about loving a car or loving a human?--and it reminds me of driving from Oceanside to Long Beach last week and getting a call in Irvine from my mom asking if I still had her car key in my purse, which I did, because the car was blocking the garbage dumpster and the garbage guys were about to give her a ticket, so Tim (listening to my side of the conversation) turns around and starts driving the 45-minute-leg we had just driven to go back and give her the keys with ZERO animosity or frustration, proving to me that I have said yes to an amazing man. Yep. It's a good thing I was the only person in the office with a 10am plum craving.

...While walking to the Metro this morning, as I'm thinking about going to try on wedding dresses this weekend, not because we even know when we're getting married yet (fall? winter?? next summer??? 3/4 sleeve? long sleeve?? cap sleeve???), but because no matter how many times I've sketched one of my "dream dresses" on a napkin or piece of scratch paper, the only real wedding dress I've ever tried on (this past Christmas) was the one my little sister wore when she was 19 and I couldn't even zip it up more than two inches--and reminiscing back to when we went dress shopping with her the first time and we were stuck in traffic and made that ridiculous "music" video to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody and thinking about how much I wish I had my sisters and my mom close by to go dress shopping with me.

...After talking to my respective parents about the subject of a budget and learning that my mom has been saving her pennies for this very event and then hearing my dad say, "I'll make it work" knowing that we are, indeed, in the middle of a recession and neither of them has any extra cash floating around.

...Right now as I type this from my desk thinking about all the times I've "lost it" the past 5 days, putting on my glasses to help hide the redness and feeling a mix of a little ridiculousness, a lot of love and a whole lot of gratitude.

...Wondering how a cry baby like me will ever make it through the actual day without waterproof make up (and I mean all of it, not just the mascara) and a rain coat to protect that dress that is yet to be found.