Is this bad? me trying to convince you all how funny I am?

This is going to be such a lame post and I'm totally stroking my own ego, but I can't help it. I think I'm pretty funny. I'm sure most people do not agree. I have been having some funny e-conversations lately. This one happened on Facebook and it's always fun to find that someone thinks I'm as funny as I do. It all started when a friend from way back emailed me asking about the social calendar for Labour Day weekend (yes, that's right, Labour) and he admitted that he's bringing his guitar down from UT. I imagine that this will not be as funny taken out of the context of the entire conversation, but I just could not bring myself to posting the whole thing. So, for your enjoyment (or mine), I am posting a bit of it including a psychological evaluation I created for guitar-guy syndrom. There is a reference to a comedian and if you choose to look it up on YouTube, do so at your own risk. It is not PG:

Me: if you're bringing your guitar, we might just have to pull together a beach bonfire. would you play?

NN: Um...yeah...I'll play. Actually...I love doing that kind of thing but I hate the connotation of being that dude who is always pulling out the guitar, you know? It's better when everyone sings along. I take requests...

Me: somewhere in my head i have memories of you serenading Anne* with Teitur (*name has been changed).

NN: Ah...see? That's exactly the kind of reputation that I'm trying to get away from….Have you ever heard of Mike Birbiglia? He's a comedian and he's pretty good. He does this great bit about the guitar guy at the party. You should hear it.

Me: I'll have to check out that guy and let you know if you fit.

NN: I DON'T want to be the dude that Birbiglia talks about. I think he's part of the reason that I'm self conscious about it. And...it's part of the reason that i like it when everyone sings along. It's more of a group activity and less like "hey everybody look at me!"

Me: [this is the good part] i have an idea. i've created a battery of questions to determine where you lie on the "guitar guy" spectrum [GGS]. Just answer the following on a scale of 1-5, (1) never true, (2) sometimes true, (3) i don't know, (4) often true, (5) always true. If you answer any with a 3, it will be counted against you.

1. I keep my guitar in my car just in case a party gets boring.
2. My friends know me to be a "party hopper"--I gotta go where the audience appreciates me.
3. At a party, I can be found as far away from the DJ as possible. Who wants to compete with that noise?
4. If my roommates throw a party, just look for me in my room. It has the best acoustics since I hung egg crate on all four of my walls (underneath the Madonna posters).
5. I have been asked to leave a party more than once because I was distracting from the bride and groom. how was i supposed to know they were trying to show a video?
6. Number 6 has been deleted due to inappropriate content. Just trying to keep it clean.
7. I have been known to take requests for my "special version" of Somebody by Depeche Mode. What can I say? It makes the girls swoon.

I will score your answers and let you know if you need to seek professional help. It's okay, trust me. i'm a professional. i do this sort of thing all the time.

NN: All I can say is this is awesome. You have WAY too much time on your hands.

Let's see...I scored my own and I got a 35. Is that bad? ;)

In fact, I think maybe you should add bonus points for the fact that I can't even count how many times i've told a girl that her eyes look like space crystals. I guess this means we won't be having a beach bonfire after all. ;)

For the most part, he's pretty clean. Sorry about number 6.

Me: oh, i do have a lot of time on my hands when at my desk job, but that assessment only took me 5 minutes max to create. I told you I'm a pro :).

As for the scoring--if you indeed got a 35 plus bonus points for the space crystal thing then, i'm sorry to report, your diagnosis is a bonafide guitar-guy. my guess is that it's adult onset and i'm not so sure about the prognosis. it doesn't look good.

NN: i had to look up the word prognosis. I knew it had to do with predicting an outcome but I was hoping that there would be prescription drugs in it for me.
...
Not only are you a pro...but you're wickedly witty. That's a compliment. It was super funny. I laughed. Out loud.

ah...I find such satisfaction in getting people to laugh out loud, especially at work when no one else around has any clue regarding the reason for the giggling. He told me later that he read it out loud at work. Apparently, "it was that good."